Confusion

Deep within my soul I know that God has called me to something greater. He's called me His own, He's called me by name...

Lately, I've been feeling confused about certain feelings that I hold. This feelings have brought confusion into my life. On one end I know that God takes care of every situation in my life, that I can completely rely on Him and trust Him with every single aspect of it. But, on the other, my human nature is pushing me into doing and acting through carnal means to achieve that which I know has been promised to me.
We, human being tend to be so impulsive, so emotional. We want to go when the Lord says to wait; we want to perform when the Lord says to be silent, to be still.
I've learned that it is during the quietest times in our lives that the Lord speaks the loudest, that He speaks clearly, and that He reveals His purposes to us.

I want this confusion to go away. That if this thing that I'm feeling doesn't come from the Lord, that He will just help me overcome it. I'm so weak, He alone is to strengthen me. I want to go to the next level. I want to hit the mark for this year. I want no distractions, no confusion. I want to serve the Lord with every fiber of my body; every minute, every second, I want His imprint to be in my life. I want my eyes to look at Him only, not anyone else, but Him alone. I want my heart to beat only for Him. I want my thoughts to only be centered on Him. He deserves it.
My Alpha and Omega. The author and finisher of my faith, my life, my steps, my soul, my thoughts, my heart. My everything, I want it all to truly be His.

In hot pursuit,
ASD

Lord, I Give you my Heart

This is my desire to honor you
Lord, with all my heart I worship you
All I have within me I give you praise
All that I adore is in YOU
LORD, I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
LORD, have your way in me

Words and music: Reuben Morgan

I'm Sorry

Lord,

I'm sorry for not loving you enough...
I'm sorry for not meeting with you enough...
I'm sorry for loving this world too much...
I'm sorry for not speaking up...
I'm sorry for being selfish, and think about me the more...
I'm sorry for not listening to Your voice...
I'm sorry that I lack Your Love...
I'm sorry that I sin too much, and do the wrong things even more...
I'm sorry about always thinking wrong....
I'm sorry for not adoring you enough...
I'm sorry for not pleasing you...
I'm sorry for being so insensitive...
I'm sorry for comparing myself to others too much...
I'm sorry for not being thankful
I'm sorry for not being joyful
I'm sorry for not being humble...

Lord forgive me for not loving you enough.

A season of Singleness- Krissy's Story

By Leslie Ludy from Authentic Girl

In our book, When God Writes Your Love Story, I introduced our readers to Krissy, Eric’s older sister. Krissy made a decision to wait faithfully for her future husband when she was around the age of 12. And she never wavered in that decision. As she was growing up, Krissy lived a truly set-apart life, both for Christ and for her future spouse. Many times she was mocked by people who did not understand the decisions she made. But she stayed focused on honoring Christ, no matter what the cost. Throughout her young adult life, Krissy joyfully poured herself into serving Christ as a missionary both overseas and in the U.S. As Krissy approached her thirties, she still had never been in a romantic relationship. She had always dreamed of being married and starting a family, but the older she got, the more she wondered if that dream would ever be fulfilled. Even though there were many times she felt discouraged, Krissy remained passionately in love with her Prince, Jesus Christ. She didn’t put her life on hold simply because she hadn’t yet met her future husband. She gave herself to serve others, and lived a radiant, peaceful, vibrant life – content with where God had her. One day, someone asked Krissy if she felt she was “called” to singleness. After a moment of thought, Krissy replied, “Today I am.” Today I am. That is a profound response. Krissy didn’t see her singleness as an unending hill to climb. She allowed God to lead her through the journey one day at a time. As a result, she discovered a joy in her singleness that few singles ever realize they can find.

Many girls have asked me over the past few years what ever happened to Krissy. Did she ever get married? Did God fulfill her desire for a family? You may be encouraged to know that the ending to Krissy’s story is just as beautiful as the beginning was. When Krissy was 34, God brought Scott into her life – a godly 37-year-old who had been waiting faithfully, all his life, for his future bride. Two and a half years ago, they were married. The ceremony was incredible. As Krissy walked down the aisle that day, God’s smile was so evident, His gentle presence engulfing the entire room. She had honored Him – and now He was honoring her. No one in the room could hold back the tears – including Eric, who was crying so hard that his face was contorting! That wedding was such a picture of God’s perfect faithfulness. Krissy and Scott have a beautiful, Christ-centered marriage. They have an adorable little daughter, and another baby on the way! Throughout the seasons of her life, Krissy has shined with the radiance of a life that has found its’ completeness in Jesus Christ.

If you are in a season of singleness and are struggling with discouragement or impatience, remember this: When we, like Krissy, are willing to allow God to use each season of our lives for His purposes, we discover an incredible truth: Singleness doesn’t have to be a time of passive and futile waiting. Instead it can be an exciting adventure of active preparation for marriage and deepening our romance with Jesus Christ. Remember not to build your future marriage up in your mind as the time in your life when “everything will be perfect.” Allow Jesus Christ to become your everything - your complete source of security, identity, and confidence. And when a God-written earthly romance does come along, it will only enhance the most important romance of all time – your relationship with Jesus Christ. When you wonder whether God has called you to singleness for the rest of your life, remember Krissy’s words “today I am”. Your Prince will be faithful to give you the grace to do what He has called you to – one day at a time

The Jesus I never Knew

I was just re-reading an old email my Pastor Ben Trolese sent me. He sent me some quotes from the a famous book by Philip Yancey, The Jesus I never Knew. I've read the book myself, and find it very inspirational, because for those of us who grew up going to church attending the canny Sunday school lectures with nice, smiling teachers, who spoke of the Jesus figure as the mystical human figure who, came down to earth to die for your sins, and furthermore, that He did it because He loved you, and wanted to spend the rest of eternity with you. This seemed as a nice little tale with a happy ending, but left my Jesus in the shadows as I tried to understand why He did it, and what love meant to Him, specially when I was taught that love was never to hurt those whom you loved the most, and that love would never bring any pain if it were to be true love.
So, I present to you, the quotes from the book I mentioned earlier, so that you may find something more than just amusement, and find the reality of Christ's cross


"I am drawn to Jesus, irresistibly, because he positioned himself as the dividing point of life-my life... "I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God," he said.
According to Jesus, what I think about him and how I respond will determine my destiny for all eternity."

"God's terrible insistence on human freedom is so absolute that he granted us the power to live as though he did not exist, to spit in his face, to crucify him."

"Jesus knew rejection. More, Jesus' life was defined by rejection. His neighbors laughed at him, his family questioned his sanity, his closest friends betrayed him, and his countrymen traded his life for that of a terrorist."

"Jesus never met a disease he could not cure, a birth defect he could not reverse, a demon he could not exorcise. But he did meet skeptics he could not convince and sinners he could not convert."

"Sidney Carter wrote this disturbing poem:
But God is up in heaven
And he doesn't do a thing,
With a million angels watching,
And they never move a wing....
It's God they ought to crucify
Instead of you and me,
I said to this Carpenter
A-hanging on a tree."

"The priest Henri Nouwen sat in the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, Russia, for many hours meditating on Rembrant's great painting "Return of the Prodigal Son." While staring at the painting, Nouwen gained a new insight into the parable: the mystery that Jesus himself became something of a prodigal son for our sakes. "He left the house of his heavenly Father, came to a foreign country, gave away all that he had, and returned through a cross to his Father's home. All of this he did, not as a rebellious son, but as the obedient son, sent out to bring home all the lost children of God ... Jesus is the prodigal son of the prodigal Father who gave away everything the Father had entrusted to him so that I could become like him and return with him to his Father's home."

My deepest devotions,
ASD

Prayer insights

by Dr. Steve Swihart

One of the greatest promises in the Bible is found in the first Psalm: “Whatever he does prospers” (1:3). This is a promise for success, accomplishment, fruitfulness. It is everyone’s dream to prosper. But like all of God’s promises, there are conditions. In this particular case, there are two conditions.

First, the Psalmist insists that we disconnect ourselves from all ungodly attachments––from inappropriate friendships, partnerships, viewing of certain movies and TV shows, and the like. Second, the author tells us that our highest desire must be to know and practice God’s Word.

When these prerequisites are met, miracles happen! Ask the Lord to guide you and others into His kind of prosperity.

I like reading these little prayer insights. These insights often make me think about how our life doesn't have to be highly adorned by our life style, but the simplest things in life are the ones that make the most difference in people's life. The secular culture imposes on its spectators a life full of luxury and refined thinking, yet, it's from the words of a young shepherd that a king was made.
We must never forget that the life that we live is not ours, and that God desires simplicity from us. Simplicity allows the Lord to work in our hearts and souls without risking the loss of our identity as we strive more and more towards the purity of heart, mind, and soul.
It is then possible for us to truly say what the psalmist of yore said, "whatever he does prospers" because we've learn in our simplicity to put the Lord at the center of our lives.

I know I said I was going to write in Spanish from now on, but since the majority of my Spanish speaking friends speak English as well, and since the majority of my English speaking friends speak English only, then, for everyone's sake, I'll write in English. I might casually write in my wonderful language, (which, by the way will be the language of heaven) because my Jesus tends to speak in Spanish to me, so that I may understand everything that my Prince says.

In hot pursuit,
ASD

Blank

I've had a blank mind for a couple of weeks. I wish to write more, to express all these feelings and thoughts I have. But my mind pipe is so narrow, so not well polished that when the array of thoughts and ideas come, I end up with a thought cork that stops them from coming out, and being orderly placed.
I stumble through the words and ideas. My sentences don't make sense, and my mind is a hurricane. What I am supposed to do about it? I'll just wait until everything is well settled in my mind and heart. I need to be at peace, to have my ideas rearranged so that I may express the truest feelings, and the finest thoughts.

I better write in Spanish for now on. My Spanish would make more sense, not only in my head, but in my own writing...

Hasta siempre.

ASD...etc

Bere, Liz y Yo 

My sisters and I the day of Christmas 

As I get to know you more,
I want to be closer to you;
The more I learn about you,
the more I want to hear from you.

I want to be close to you:
Closer to your heart,
Closer to you, in your arms
of love, of joy, of peace.

The more I know you,
the more I feel drawn to you;
yet, there's much more to you
than what I can grasp.

It all makes me love you.
All I want to do is to know you.

Prayer Insights

by Dr. Steve Swihart

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” (Eccl. 9:10a). As a rule, the most influential and the most successful people in the church, in the classroom and in every sector of society are those individuals who pursue life with all of their might. They pursue their priorities with all of their might. They pursue their vocation with all of their might. They pursue their relationships with all of their might. And they pursue their God with all of their might.

When it comes to praying, the person who prays best (and not necessarily longest) is the one who seeks to know and follow God’s heart with all of his or her might. Decide today that you will be that kind of person! When you do, success will follow you wherever you go!

Voice of Truth

Lyrics & Music by Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Find more music by Casting Crowns HERE